I couldn’t go to sleep last night, for almost four hours I was tossing and turning, thinking and trying not to think (some would call it wrestling with God). For a week now, it has been absolute noise and distraction inside my head. If you could climb inside, I guarantee it would sound like a busy New York City traffic jam mixed with road construction. Then it finally dawned on me: college is over, and now I’m back home with my parents until June; I’m in a “transition” period. Receiving this epiphany was divine intervention from God, because with the proverbial light bulb going off, I now have three desires that only God can work and accomplish. I say “only God can work and accomplish” mainly, because it’s true, and secondly because I know my weaknesses and my inadaquacies. I’ll illustrate quickly, I can want repentance and desire it, but it is only God who can give repentance and forgiveness (Acts 5:31). Therefore, I’m going to share my three desires with you, and I will only ask that you keep me in your prayers.
Desire #1. In love, I want to know God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, for “knowledge puffs up, but love edifies”. J.I. Packer puts it like this, “And this must be our attitude too. Our aim in studying the Godhead must be to know God himself better. Our concern must be to enlarge our acquaintance, not simply with the doctrine of God’s attributes, but with the living God whose attributes they are. As He is the subject of our study, and our helper in it, so He must himself be the end of it.” The greatest and most blessed assurance however, is that I, and other Christians were known by God first. This is the God who claimed us and washed us in Holy Baptism that we may have life in Christ (Rom 6: 4-11). This is the God who pitied us when were His enemies (Rom 5: 9-11). This is the God who justifies the wicked (Rom 4: 4-5), and in this grace, we can draw closer to God with a confidence that not even the gates of hell can overcome.
Desire #2. I need to be more mature, accountable, and responsible. I don’t know how else to say it, but “play times over”. St. Paul through the clarity of the Holy Spirit puts it like this, “When I was a babe, as a babe I was speaking, as a babe I was thinking, as a babe I was reasoning, and when I have become a man, I have made useless the things of the babe”. By the way, does anyone know where I can get my hands on a Young’s Literal Translation Bible? I think I might be in love.
Desire #3. I want to take better care of my body. I’m not getting proper rest, proper nutrition, and adequate excercise.
Please keep in me your prayers. By the way, if anyone would like me to pray for you, please comment back on this post and let me know.